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Eventually, I knew I'd cave in...

I'm so glad it's Friday, I'm in tears. No, wait: that's not tears - that's sweat, from the disgusting, sticky, face-licking humidity that's been sliding all over me like some perv's hands on the subway. If that description made you go "ewwwwwe", then I've done my job.

22 days til I get on a plane for Clarion, and I'm officially FREAKING OUT. I've been waking up at three every morning, having little panic attacks in the dark. I keep writing tiny lists of things to do, then losing the lists, then making more lists, then losing those lists, then just sitting in a chair rocking back and forth slowly while I watch reruns and try to pretend that it's all under control. I'm worried about everything: leaving my apartment for six weeks, paying all my bills on time, trying to write six stories in six weeks, critiquing approximately 126 stories in the same amount of time... What if people hate me? What horrible nickname will I be given? Will I accidentally show up in class in my underwear? OMG I NEED TO BUY NEW UNDERWEAR!!!

On the other hand, I did finish one story and started another. I guess that's a good thing. I guess.

::clutches stomach, falls to floor::


Marine Autumn

I owe you marine autumn
With dankness at its roots
and fog like a grape
and the graceful sun of the country;
and the silent space
in which sorrows lose themselves
and only the bright crown
of joy comes to the surface.

--Pablo Neruda.

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