"SAMUEL L JACKSON will voice God in a new audio version of the Bible. The taped recording of the New Testament will feature many famous other black actors and musicians. Jackson was given the lead role because producers felt his deep, authorative voice was perfect for the role of God."
Oh Jebus, I can just see it now: some unsuspecting Christian pops his audio-Bible cassette into the living room stereo, and the family gathers around to listen to the inspiring voice of God (from Exodus 4):
 And the LORD said unto him, What is that in thine hand? And he said, A rod.
 And he said, Cast it on the ground. And he cast it on the ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from before it.
 And the LORD said unto Moses, Put forth thine hand, and take THAT MOTHERFUCKING SERPENT by the MOTHERFUCKING tail. And he put forth his hand, and caught it, and it became a rod in his hand.
This will be the bestest-selling audio Bible EVAH!