The WHC programming schedule is out today, and there’s a couple of events in which I’ll actually participate, rather than hide in the back of the room behind a planter or under a table, which is my usual convention behavior. Exciting! Or: disastrous! Only time will tell.
First, I’ll have a reading on Friday, sharing the hour with Simon Strantzas. I plan to read a portion from “At the Edge of Ellensburg”, then sit back and quietly nap, or maybe talk on my phone, whilst Simon reads. It’s all about supporting our fellow writers, you know.
Then right after the reading, I’ll be on my only panel at WHC – and one is fine with me. This is my first panel ever, and if it turns out to be a disaster, I’ll need to spend the rest of the weekend hiding in my room, bitching out the mini-bar for not holding writer-sized portions of booze and salty nuts. The panel is The Horror of Workshop, Classes and MFA Programs, with Sarah Langan, Lee Thomas, and Sheldon S. Higdon. I’ll be
bitching about the perils of spending six boozed-up weeks in a stinky dorm trapped with 17 socially-backward weirdos just like yourself, reading and barfing out half a million shitty words without going completely motherfucking insane talking about Clarion. Here’s the panel description:
Edgar Allan Poe never took a creative writing class, but today’s aspirants have many choices—Borderlands’ Boot Camp, Clarion, MFA programs, local writers’ groups, and more. Are academics still biased against horror? Heck, are science fiction and mystery writers still biased against horror? Can one even write the stuff without getting into trouble with sensitive classmates? Learn how to avoid a nightmare workshop.
If you’re not attending WHC, but would like to experience just a touch of the magic that’s going to happen during this hour, let me reveal a few words of wisdom which I believe will forever change the way you view workshops and writing programs:
Are academics still biased against horror? YES!
Heck, are science fiction and mystery writers still biased against horror? YES!
Can one even write the stuff without getting into trouble with sensitive classmates? NO!
Learn how to avoid a nightmare workshop. HA HA! THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A NIGHTMARE-FREE WORKSHOP, SUCKA! BOO!!!
I’ve just saved you thousands of dollars, and – assuming you have any – your sanity. You’re welcome.
I’ll also be part of the Mass Signing on Saturday. I’ll have a pile of books and pretty matching postcards, some Lethe brochures, and a gigantic bowl of candy, which will come in handy if no one buys any books and I’m forced to eat my feelings. Don’t make eat my feelings, people! Austin may not have enough candy for that…