So, last week I signed up for my company’s “corporate challenge”, which is Wolfram & Hart office-speak for “yes, you lunchboxes in suits can walk those 3.5 miles instead of running them”. I decided to do it because, well, I need a goal for getting into shape other than “get into shape”. So, from now until mid-June, I have to train my bluburous body to lurch in a circle around Central Park at least once without collapsing like a slug in a river of salt.** I know, I know – I paint some purty pictures with ma words. And I’ve decided that every Monday I’ll give a half-assed update as to the extent of my training, which will consist of both stepping up the exercise (which is to say, actually fucking doing some), and modifying my diet (which is to say, cutting out the crap and processed foods). I’m not going to post weight loss, since 1) weight loss isn’t necessarily the best indicator of my health and progress, and 2) when a woman posts her weight and it’s not considered an “acceptable” number, she’s immediately given more shit than anyone deserves. So, I’m not going there. I’ve discussed my weight (and everything else) with my doctor, and he’s the only person who’s on a need-to-know basis.
Also, and this is the only time I will say this: if you have issues or “triggers” with regards to weight, exercise, eating habits, drinking habits, or anything else I might say in these Monday posts – don’t read them. Simple as that. You’re also welcome to unfriend me – I’m fine with either option. I’m not doing this to piss people off, or judge them, or make them upset or unhappy – I’m only trying to change my eating and exercise habits so when the zombie apocalypse comes, I don’t get all gnawed up by a bunch of rotting corpses that can run faster than me. Y’all do whatever you want to do. I’m just doing this for myself. And maybe a little for the ants. Somebody’s gotta lift those sacks of sugar, you know…
**After which I’ll continue working out with the intent to participate in the Komen NYC Race For The Cure in September.
.Originally published at Livia Llewellyn.