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The answer is: the same as the number of months it takes for a bunch of motherfucking amateur asshole construction d00ds to finish doing the most basic and minimal improvements to a shithole apartment, which is to say IT TAKES FORFUCKINGEVER.

AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!ONE!

This has been going on for almost three months now. Constant fucking construction at random hours of the day and night, constant drilling and sawing and hammering, and electricity and water going on and off with no end in sight. They're drilling into the ceiling now (i.e., my fucking floor), presumably to hang lighting fixtures and/or to hang the framework for the dropped ceiling tiles. The water is off. Why????? [::insert all-caps bitch-snark here::] The entire building is shaking. Happy Memorial Day, people! This is how we honor those who died for our country here in Jersey City: by turning on power tools and drilling the shit out of falling-down tenement buildings.

Right now I'm sitting on my recumbent bike, watching Terminator 3 (because it's LOUD - something loud and stupid with The Rock will be next - Doom, perhaps!) on my laptop that's sitting on this shaky table tray. Yes, I'm blogging from exercise equipment. Because the metal frame is so heavy that it only picks up minimal shaking from the drilling. It's either that or sit in the bathtub, and Herbert is in there, with a showercap and a martini. Lazy fucker. I'm drinking beer and eating bbq potato chips. While blogging. And watching shit movies. On my exercise bike. DON'T JUDGE ME, FUCKERS! I've already done four miles. Rawr.

Marine Autumn

I owe you marine autumn
With dankness at its roots
and fog like a grape
and the graceful sun of the country;
and the silent space
in which sorrows lose themselves
and only the bright crown
of joy comes to the surface.

--Pablo Neruda.


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