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Alien Bitch vs. Fridgedator

Ten hours ago...

turns refrigerator to 'defrost'
Me: Yes, universe, it's just a matter of time before le refrigerator will be sparkling clean and free of TEH EBIL ICE!
skips away to freakishly cold living room
Le Fridge: OMFG she is insane. I defreeze for NO WO-MAN.
New Chromey Scale: Heh heh.

Three hours ago...

opens freezer door
Me: OMGWTFBBQ! Do you not know the meaning of the word DE-FROST? Unfrost, you fucking bitch! Unfrost right NOW!
runs sobbing into freakishly cold living room
Le Fridge: I'm as COLD AS ICE. I'm willing to SACRIFICE OUR LOVE!
New Chromey Scale: OMG I <3 Foreigner! ::wipes single tear from face plate::

One hour ago...

opens freezer door
Me: Hey, Icy Pants...
Le Fridge: Uh, huh, whaaaa...?
raises HAMMER
Me: Get away from her, YOU BITCH!
HAMMER TIME!!!!BBQ!!1ONE!
Le Fridge: OMFG NOOOOES! U BE STEALIN MAH ICE BUCKET!!1 AAAHKLDSLKDDKJJL'K!!
Me: Who's your daddy now, bitch? ::hammers!:: Who's your daddy now?!ONE!?
HAMMER HAMMER HAMMER!!!!
New Chromey Scale: Oh the humanity!!!!!

A couple of minutes ago...
mops sopping wet floor
Le Fridge sobs
New Chromey Scale shivers
Me: Yeah. That's right. I'm the Ice Queen in this lousy town, bitches. I'm the fucking Queen...

Marine Autumn

I owe you marine autumn
With dankness at its roots
and fog like a grape
and the graceful sun of the country;
and the silent space
in which sorrows lose themselves
and only the bright crown
of joy comes to the surface.

--Pablo Neruda.


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